On February 19, 2016, I was looking for a way to distract myself from the fact that my mother had been in the hospital for almost a month with a life - threatening illness. I found that distraction, by watching a musical theatre film that was directed by Tom Hooper entitled, Les Misérables. After watching this film, I was haunted by the story that it told, and through the way in which it depicted its themes of love and loss. The tale itself is “set against the backdrop of 19th-century France” (Us-Tour) and is “an enthralling story of broken dreams and unrequited love, passion, sacrifice and redemption – a timeless testament to the survival of the human spirit” (Us-Tour).

     I learned from the ending credits of Hooper’s film that it was based on the novel, Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. I decided to read the novel, however, I ended up setting it aside for a while after my mother passed in March 2016. After she passed, I kept working towards my goal of earning my Associates degree in order to later transfer to a four-year university and major in English. During that difficult time, I almost gave up on my degree and wish to major in English. However, I decided to continue due to the fact that literature was something my mom and I always shared, and because I knew that she would not have wanted me to give up on my goal. So, I began taking many courses in English, Film and Theatre and also continued trying to read Hugo’s novel.

     A short time later, in 2017, I learned that the US traveling Broadway production of Les Misérables was coming to the Durham Performing Arts Center in 2018. Ecstatic, I shared this information with my cousins, Anne and David, and bought tickets on September 3rd. On the night of February 2, 2018, we took our seats on the right-hand side of the balcony and I still remember being moved by several moments and songs in the production. These moments and songs revealed the true impact that love and loss can have, not only on the characters in the show, but on the audience members as well.

     The first moment was in act one when the song, “I Dreamed a Dream,” was being sung by the actress who played the character, Fantine. In this song, Fantine was remembering a simpler time, “I dreamed a dream in time gone by/When hope was high/And life worth living” (Les Misérables). During the song Fantine also sang, “I had a dream my life would be/So different from this hell I'm living” (Les Misérables) and at the end, “Now life has killed/The dream I dreamed” (Les Misérables).  Fantine then began to reflect on how everything had changed since she had been dismissed from her job due to the fact that she had an illegitimate daughter, Cosette, whose father had abandoned them. Cosette was now being looked after by the Thénardiers. Once Fantine was dismissed from her job, she had no way to pay the Thénardiers, who, without her knowledge, were abusing Cosette. The Thénardiers had continued to demand money and lie to Fantine when they told her that Cosette was sick. Determined to help her daughter, Fantine, became desperate, and sold her hair, her teeth and finally herself through the act of prostitution.

     Shortly after this, Fantine was about to be arrested by police officer, Javert, when she was rescued by the Mayor who previously did not stop her from being fired. After rescuing her, the Mayor took her to a convent and learned that she was sick with consumption. The Mayor then came to understand her story, and that he could have prevented her from being fired. He then promised a dying Fantine to take over the care of Cosette. The Mayor is actually an escaped convict by the name of Jean Valjean whose only crimes were stealing food to survive, and previously trying to escape prison. He rescued Cosette from the Thénardiers, and vowed to raise her as his own daughter. However, they had to go on the run once the truth of Valjean’s identity, was learned by Javert.

     That night, when I sat there, with Anne and David, I could not help but be moved by this scene in the show, particularly the song, “I Dreamed a Dream.” From this scene, I saw how powerful a mother’s love for their daughter could be in the character of Fantine. The lyrics of “I Dreamed a Dream,” “I dreamed a…/When hope was…/And life worth…,” “I had a… /So much different…” and “Now life has… killed/The dream I…” showed me that, while Fantine was miserable, she still loved her daughter and chose to do anything to protect her. Yet, I also saw the love Valjean demonstrated when he took Cosette in and raised her as his own, after originally neglecting to help Fantine. Valjean could have made a different choice when it came to Cosette, but he instead chose to give and receive love from this child.

     However, I also saw how powerful loss was in this scene. For Fantine, this was the loss of her innocence and she registered this in “I Dreamed a Dream,” in the lyrics, “I dreamed a…/When hope was…/And life worth….” Further, she loses other pieces of herself when she sold her hair, teeth and herself so that she could care for Cosette. While for Valjean, we discovered that he had previously lost his freedom when he went to prison. Additionally, Cosette also suffered the loss of her mother, but gained the love of her adoptive father, Valjean. In each of these cases, the audience could empathize with these characters when they saw and reflected upon their stories. Each of us in our own way knows what it would be like to give up something for the person we love, as Fantine did. Each of us understands the feeling of wanting to right a wrong, as in the case of Valjean. Finally, everyone, at one point or another, knows what it is like to lose a person one loves, as in the case of Cosette.  

     A short time later, I remember being moved by another song, “Red and Black” and the romantic love and friendship displayed in it. This song and scene were set nineteen years after the events surrounding, “I Dreamed a Dream.” Here, we learn about a group of students known as Les Amis de l’ABC’ or the Friends of the ABC whose goal was to fight for the rights of the poor. In this scene Marius expressed his longing for Cosette to his friends during the song, “Red and Black.” Marius had only just seen Cosette in passing and was wanting to get to know her. After Marius expressed his longing, Enjolras, the group’s leader, reminded them of their goal with the lyrics, “Red - the blood of angry men/Black - the dark of ages past” (Les Misérables) and “Red - a world about to dawn/ Black - the night that ends at last” (Les Misérables).

     We then saw the scene continue to unfold when Grantaire sang, “Red” (Les Misérables) and Marius replied, “I feel my soul on fire” (Les Misérables). Grantaire then continued with “Black” (Les Misérables) and Marius replied, “My world if she's not there” (Les Misérables). The parody of Enjolras’ prior lyrics to “Red and Black” continued with some of the other Friends of the ABC joining in, until Enjolras reminded them once again that they were fighting for a cause, and that “there is a higher call” (Les Misérables). The Friends of the ABC then sang the original lyrics of “Red and Black, “Red- the blood…/Black- the dark…” and “Red-a world…/ Black- the night….” Shortly after this, the Friends of the ABC received word that General Lamarque, who had fought for the people’s rights, had died and they began to plan their rebellion as Enjolras sang, “In the death of Lamarque we will kindle the flame/They will see that the day of salvation is near/The time is here” (Les Misérables). Marius then had to choose to join his friends in the rebellion, or pursue Cosette.

     While sitting there, observing this moment and the song, “Red and Black,” I remember thinking about how powerful romantic love and the love of friendship could be. For instance, the love Marius had for Cosette. Marius’ love for her was expressed at Grantaire and his friends’ prompting, “Red,” (Les Misérables) “I feel my…,” (Les Misérables) “Black” (Les Misérables) and “My world if…” (Les Misérables). Yet, this moment also enlightened me to the friendship between Marius and the others when they spurred him to speak of his feelings for Cosette and tried to encourage him.

     However, I also saw loss in this part of the production. An example of this was when Enjolras reminded the group that they were fighting for a cause that was bigger than themselves, “there is a…” (Les Misérables). Then, once again when he and the others sang, “Red- the blood…/Black- the dark…” (Les Misérables) and “Red-a world…/ Black- the night….” (Les Misérables).  From this, one can gather that Marius would be making the choice of whether or not to pursue Cosette, and his friends would be making the decision of whether or not to fight without him in the rebellion. Despite this, there was also the rebellion to consider and how this may cause the Friends of the ABC to suffer losses among each other. With that said, all of us can identify with these characters in the relationships we have had, whether they are romantic. like Marius, or the bond of friendship, as with the Friends of the ABC.

     This scene and song were performed before Marius visited Cosette and learned that even though he wanted to be with her, he chose to join his friends for the rebellion. This decision led us to continue to see the bond between the members of the Friends of the ABC. The Friends of the ABC also reminded themselves of this bond during the song, “Drink With Me.” Despite this, shortly after “Drink With Me,” all of the Friends of the ABC, except Marius, are killed in the rebellion. However, Marius was injured, but subsequently rescued by Valjean who had previously learned about the love between Cosette and the young man.

     Later in the second act, I was deeply moved by another moment in the song, “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables.” While he was still recovering, Marius expressed his sadness at the loss of his friends in the song. Here, the actor playing Marius was standing on a completely dark stage that is only lit by white candles. At the beginning of this song Marius sang, “There's a grief that can't be spoken/There's a pain goes on and on” (Les Misérables) and “Empty chairs at empty tables/Now my friends are dead and gone” (Les Misérables) to express his sadness over losing his friends in the rebellion. He then continued the song by reminiscing of the times they had together in the tavern, “From the table in the corner/They could see a world reborn” (Les Misérables) and expressed his pain over the fact that he is alive and they are not, “Oh my friends, my friends forgive me/That I live and you are gone” (Les Misérables).

     Soon after these lyrics, his friends appeared on stage and each of them picked up a lit candle. While they did this, Marius sang, “Phantom faces at the window/Phantom shadows on the floor” (Les Misérables). Finally, towards the end of the song each member of the Friends of the ABC blew out their candle and left the stage, and only Marius was left. Once the song had concluded, Marius blew out his candle and left the stage.

     Thinking back to this scene, I am still haunted by it due to how it was staged and the way it expressed love and loss. Here, Marius was shown to be missing his friends and longing for them to still be there, “There's a grief … /There's a pain” (Les Misérables), and “Empty chairs at… /Now my friends…” (Les Misérables). He also longed for the times that he and his friends had shared together as depicted in the songs, “Red and Black” and “Drink With Me.” This was shown by the lyrics, “From the table.../They could see…” (Les Misérables).

     Yet, Marius also appeared to be wishing that he were with his friends and exhibits signs of survivor’s guilt, “Oh my friends…/That I live…” (Les Misérables). He then continued to show that he misses them, “Phantom faces at…/Phantom shadows on…” (Les Misérables). This scene, and all of the lyrics from “Empty Chairs at Empty Tables,” revealed that Marius had a deep love for his friends and wished that the outcome had been different. In addition, this scene and the lyrics serve to remind us that the love we have for others will not prevent us from having the same wish as Marius when they are gone - that they were here with us.

     The rest of act two passed quickly, and I was once again struck by the emotions of the production in the “Finale.” This part took place after Marius and Cosette have gotten married, and Valjean has decided to leave in order to give Cosette a chance to live without his past as a convict interfering with her life. However, Marius and Cosette track him to a church and Valjean gave Cosette a letter and told her, “Read it well when I, at last, am sleeping/It's a story of those who always loved you/Your mother gave her life for you then gave you to my keeping” (Les Misérables). Shortly after this, he died and Marius and Cosette are shown to be grieving.

     We then saw all of the characters return to the stage and perform the final part to the “Finale.” Together they sang, “Do you hear the people sing/Lost in the valley of the night/It is the music of a people who are climbing to the light” (Les Misérables).  At the end of the song, they sang, “Will you join in our crusade/Who will be strong and stand with me/Somewhere beyond the barricade is there a world you long to see” (Les Misérables) and “Do you hear the people sing/Say, do you hear the distant drums/It is the future that we bring when tomorrow comes” (Les Misérables).

     During this part, I noticed love. Here, it was the romantic love between Marius and Cosette, and the parental love of Valjean and Fantine for Cosette. Marius loved Cosette enough and felt enough gratitude towards Valjean for saving him, that he helped Cosette to find her father so that she could say goodbye. While Valjean loved Cosette enough to raise her as his own, and Fantine loved her enough to give up everything, including “her life” (Les Misérables) for her. This is told to Cosette in the lyrics, “Read it well…/It’s a story…/Your mother gave…” (Les Misérables). What Cosette discovered here, was that the love from Valjean and Fantine are what ultimately saved her and allowed her to have a life with Marius.

     Additionally, the ending of the “Finale” reminds us that while there is still loss, there is still a chance for a better life, and that we have to make a choice to continue on our journey to share the love we have been given with others along the way. This was shown most prominently by the lyrics, “It is the …” (Les Misérables). What is depicted in this scene and song, are very much what happens to each of us in life. Like Cosette, we are saved by the people we love at one time or another. We each suffer loss like Marius or Cosette and have a choice to make: we can either stay stuck where we are, or we can continue forward in memory and honor of the ones we love.

     Once the “Finale” had concluded, Anne, David and I left the Durham Performing Arts Center and returned home. Even today, I fondly remember the story of Les Misérables and the songs in it including, “I Dreamed a Dream,” “Red and Black,” Empty Chairs at Empty Tables” and the “Finale,” and have found that they are still relevant to my life. That night I came to understand that we as a human culture want to believe that love, and the relationships that come from loving someone, will save us. With that said, we also know that love is often accompanied by loss. However, with the pain of loss comes saving grace from the ones “who always loved” (Les Misérables) us.

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